Thank You For Walking this Journey

"Thank you for walking this journey with me."

My dear boyfriend Oliver spoke these words to me as I brushed the back of his neck on my way in to the kitchen.  He lay curled up on the couch and I responded, "Absolutely, my love."  His words were so genuine and heart felt.  The kind of words that carry a thousand other words behind their simplicity.  ....he was thanking me for walking with him as his mother peacefully and beautifully passed away earlier that afternoon.

For the past three months I have watched a man exhibit intense love for the woman who brought him life.  I only hope and pray to have a son one day to express the kind of unconditional love and care that Oliver expressed.  What a testament to the kind of heart my dear Pamela had that she instilled in her sons the gift of compassion...the gift of loyalty...the gift of never giving up on or abandoning the ones they love.  

Oliver, I have watched you for two months sleep by your mother's hospital bed, tirelessly get up to care for your mother, wait around for hours in her room without food for yourself so you could speak to her doctors about her progress, devote each hour of each day to taking care of her affairs, brushing her hair, singing in her ear, calling her friends to update them on her progress...looking her in the eyes each day to remind her how beautiful she was and what an angel she was in your life.  I have watched you be the beacon of light you told your mother she always was to you.  I watched you give your mother the light she gave to you.  The profound impact you have had on my heart as I have watched you love, hurt, cry, express anger, express joy....has been almost too deep and too lovely for my heart to stand.

Two nights ago Oliver woke up and said to me, "she's calling to me...I have to go to her."  He left my apartment and drove in the middle of the night to be by her side.  At 4:30am he called me and said, "I think you need to come down here."  I remember each step of the day like clock work.  Too many tender and private steps to share.  But as I arrived at the hospital at 5:00am I walked in to a hospital room of love and light and peace.  I walked in to a room to see my Oliver caressing his mothers hair as he stood at the head of her bed and the spirit of God radiating through out the room.  The spiritual presence of God was so intense that within minutes I stood by Pamela as I sang and praised to the creator of the universe over her precious body.  At 2:37pm surrounded by family and friends Pamela transitioned to the heavens to be with God.  We all felt her spirit as it filled the room.  Live out Loud.  That was the title of Pamela's first sermon....and live out loud she did.  What a radiant beauty...inside and out.  What an example of a selfless mother.  What an example of a women who walked the walk and talked the talk.  No matter what someone else thought...she followed what she believed to the ends of the earth.

But her greatest creation?  Her greatest expression of love and light?  Her two boys.  One of which I love so dearly.  Oliver...you have lived out loud.  I know you will continue to live out loud...but what I know without a doubt you will continue to do...love people as intensely as you loved your own mother...because that's a gift she gave to you.  You selflessly gave of yourself...only stopping to care for yourself when someone made you ;-)  No one asked you to go to Germany.  No one asked you to put life on pause.  No one asked you to sleep by your mother's bed night after night.  No one asked you to exhibit such selfless love.  You didn't think of you.  You never expected a thank you or recognition.  You ONLY thought of her.  No one asked you...because...no one had to.....

So...you thank ME for walking this journey with you?  No, my handsome love....Thank YOU for allowing me the privilege of walking alongside you.  It has been heartbreaking.  But it has been incredibly touching and life changing.  It has been more beautiful than I could ever accurately portray.  I cannot wait to walk other journeys with you...and I cannot wait to help shine Pamela's spirit each step of the way.

Living Out Loud,
Regina 

Enter In

It’s been over a year since I was last in Sierra Leone.  You would think after a year that the impact would have faded or diminished…but it’s the opposite.  Minute by minute I see their faces. Minute by minute I smell the aroma of River Number 2 and hear the laughter of over 80 glorious children I call…my heart.  I feel them.  I carry their stories with me.  I wait with anticipation for conversations to turn to, “so what else do you do besides dance?”  I can’t wait to word vomit every name and story and win over hearts to make their lives just a little bit better. My heart yearns to be with them.  After traveling to Sierra Leone three times in 10 months I felt like I was being led to Los Angeles to pursue dance and film/television.  I’ve found the transition to be harder than expected.  I have found so much joy in this new space but have also been faced with unexpected challenges. 

When I first moved here I instantly became close with my boyfriend’s mother, Pamela.  She was an actress and is now a minister working as a counselor.  Her light and vibrancy for life pulled me towards her.  I wanted to go to lunch with her, sit and talk with her…hear her heart and share my own.   We instantly connected.  We found we shared so much in common…one of which being that she liked to hear about Africa…and I sure as heck liked to talk about it :0) As I shared my stories with her we decided that she definitely had to travel with me next time I went.  I know her heart and light would explode all over Sierra Leone.  I know her calming touch would leave quite a lasting impression on Sierra Leone. 

Around November Pamela became very sick.  I wrote about her a few months back as her journey through this illness became more serious. As the months have gone on she has gone in to liver failure and has remained quite ill.  I’ve spent many days by her side in Intensive Care and my boyfriend has not gone a single day without holding his mother’s hand or lavishing her in love.   I’ve had so many touching moments I’ve wanted to share…from the constant love he’s shown her to the outpour of compassion from her friends and other family members…to the touching moments she and I have shared sitting in her hospital room. 

I’ve been reading a book called Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis.  What a warrior.  A girl my age from Tennessee who moved to Uganda to devote her life to helping people in need.  She adopted 14 girls and uses her two hands and the light behind her eyes to do what Jesus did….enter into peoples pain.  Enter in.  And take part in their lives in a very real way.

This concept is something I’ve grappled with since getting back from Africa.  WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL THIS INFORMATION? WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE A SUSTAINABLE IMPACT?  Katie says, “And even though I realize I cannot always mend or meet…I can enter in.  I can enter into someone’s pain and sit with them and Know.  This is Jesus.  Not that He apologizes for the hard and the hurt, but that he enters in, He comes with us to the hard places.  And so. I continue to enter.”

And so…even when I don’t feel like I have the emotional strength to…I come to the hospital and sit with Pamela.  I look in to her eyes.  I recognize her pain and affirm her in the journey her body is taking to finding healing.  I hug Oliver as tightly as I can after he spends his days by his mother’s side. 

And I remember…this is the love my little ones in Sierra Leone have taught me.  Unconditional love.  Giving a voice to the voiceless.  I’ve learned the voiceless can manifest in our lives in different ways beyond the “orphan.”  There are times when the “orphan” becomes a woman full of nothing but love and light whose body needs a miracle to heal.  The orphan becomes simply…someone who needs to be lavished in love.  This has been heart wrenching…it’s raw…it’s real…it’s life.  But my loves in Sierra Leone taught me that amidst any struggle and any darkness there is ALWAYS light…there is always the beauty of a huge white smile, there is always light behind the eyes of a tiny baby in need of food.  I’ve been asked the question recently that through something like this how do you see the beauty in life?  How do you enjoy life in the midst of it all…..? 

Well…after the night there’s always morning.  After the sunset there’s always a sunrise.  After a storm there’s always a rainbow.  And within each day there are whispers of beauty.  When we might feel nothing but defeat and the weight of pain…God, the creator of the universe sends little whispers to say…there’s hope…there’s more…there’s life…enjoy it…experience it…breathe it in. 

We enter in to pain and journey through experiences we are faced with never losing sight of the fact that…our goal…our prize is love and light.

 One afternoon Pamela and I were sitting in a restaurant called Mother’s and we were talking about her life and as she spoke of a recent struggle I asked her, “How did you find the strength to make that decision?”  And she said, “Because I had find the joy in life again.”  We enter in…we experience…and we conquer.  We conquer and we find the joy.  For my loves in Sierra Leone…that joy is The Covering.  For my baby, Allie, that joy was finding rest and leaving a lasting imprint on my heart.  For my Pamela…that joy is meeting each new day with the strength of a fighter…meeting each new day to say, “Here I am still world! Let’s do this!”  I don’t know what that joy will continue to manifest in to.  But…each new day…as she continues to say yes…I will continue to say yes as well…I will enter in…enter in and stand by her side. 

I love you my dear, Pamela.  Let’s conquer this struggle so we can get on that plane and spread your light to my loves in Sierra Leone.  They are waiting on you.  And I know they can’t wait to show you their love as well. 

Loving when there's nothing Else to do....

To Pamela Murphy…my beacon of light.  May Germany bring your body complete healing and strength and may your passion prove to everyone the power that comes from following our instinct and heart. 

Loving when you have nothing else to do but love…

I was listening to a sermon the other day and the pastor said “the love we have for people must go far beyond loving your neighbor as yourself.”  It reminded of me of my mother’s saying “the definition of love is when you put the needs of someone else before your own.”  Real love is continual…unconditional..to the end. 

A dear dear friend of mine has been living with a disease for 40 years and it’s come to a place now where her body requires more medical attention.  It’s hurt my heart so much to watch someone I care about struggle so intensely.  But it has touched my heart in a profound way to see the love that has been showered over her.  And even more touching, the strength and love she’s exhibited by allowing others to take care of her when her instinct is to put the needs of others way before her own. 

Last weekend I spent some time with her and her two sons.  They showed me how true it is that sometimes all you can do is…love someone.  They have truly shown me the definition of unconditional love.  Love when you strongly disagree.  Love when you’re hurt or don’t understand.  Love when you think things should perhaps look different.  Love when your heart feels as if it is breaking because of the pain your loved one is going through. 

“Love will sustain.  Love will provide.  Love will not cease at the end of time.  Love will protect.  Love always hopes.  Love still believes when you don’t.”  These beautiful song lyrics have been on repeat in my head the past few days.  These words speak more volumes than my simple brain could ever express.  Because when people in our lives need it the most we get the choice to step up and express unconditional love.  And not just the unconditional love as Christians we often cast off as nothing more than saying “I’ll definitely be praying for you.”  OR when something begins to be too much walking away and saying that’s too hard to deal with…or that’s not my problem.  But, unconditional love that sticks around.  Unconditional love that is able to look you in the eye and say I don’t agree with you but I’ll stand by you.  Unconditional love that truly exhibits unconditional traits.  

I write about love a lot.  I think about love a lot.  Not just love in a romantic sense.  I truly believe love to be the answer for most things.  Anger, injustice, greed, fear.  Love covers a multitude of sins.  It’s on my mind so much because…it seems so simple. 

In society we hear “all you need is love” or contrastingly “love is not enough.”  So which is it?  It sounds too basic to say all you need is love…but is that the truth?  Do we need more? Does love cease at the end of time?  I guess it depends on your definition of love…but after the past couple of months standing by my friends side I believe in no way could love ever cease.  Love is greater, wider and deeper than we could ever imagine. 

Love is joy.  Love is revealing brokenness.  Love is expressing anger and hurt. Love is action, but love is standing still.  Love is everything in between.  The deep, the simple, the pain, the joy.  Love exposes our junk and has the power to heal pains we didn’t know we could heal.  

Love…well…love is standing up for what we believe in and speaking our mind…but the greatest expression of love…is…standing by someone’s side, wholeheartedly trusting and believing in their heart, their path…standing up to those you love and saying I believe my healing looks different than you think…traveling to Germany to be by your mother’s side as she begins a healing process…loving when you have nothing else to do but love. 

 Love and Light, 

Regina 

How Quickly I Forget...

Last January before I left for my second trip to Sierra Leone I left my designer purse in my car.  Yes, I did say Sierra Leone and designer purse in the same sentence.  While I was inside saying goodbye to a friend someone smashed my passenger window and snatched my beautiful brown leather bag.  Immediately I called the police.  As the police officer asked me the worth of my purse I became sick to my stomach.  Here I was traveling to help “Save the Orphan” and my bag cost over half of my plane ticket to Africa.  It made me call into question where my heart truly was.  Obviously, I was sad about loosing my belongings, and a little uneasy that someone had my information but more than anything I was upset because…I felt like a hypocrite.  I preach taking care of and comforting the afflicted but here I was swimming in my own wealth.  That may seem an exaggeration, because I’m certainly not rolling in the dough…but stay with me.

Fast forward to this summer…I spent part of my time in New York…shopping.  Shocker.  Everyone take a second to get over your dismay.  I invested in some great pieces and was so excited to show off my new “fashionable clothes.”  The other day I packed up a few of my things, including said wonderfully fashionable items, got ready to head back to Nashville to get the rest of my stuff and see my friends.  I have had a million things on my mind the past few weeks…getting a job, finding an apartment…realizing I’m finally an adult and if I want to “make my dreams come true” I’m going to have to work my butt off to afford this dream of mine.  My brain has been racing with worry, anxiety and stress.  Money, money, money.  Where am I going to get all the money to live and not be in a shack when I’m 60? I need to invest wisely.  How will I afford dance classes?  How will I even have time for dance classes while I’m working?  How will I afford new furniture?  I don’t want to get rid of the furniture I have.  At least I have cool new clothes.

Wow.  Do you hear me?  Punch me in the throat.

So, a week ago I wake up to head back to Nashville…I’m running late to deliver some things to my boss and I still have to empty out my rental car.  I wheel my suitcase to the curb, cross the busy street to turn my car around, load up my suitcase and get on my way.  I’m racing with the clock to drive from Hollywood to Pasadena and then back to the airport.  I do everything in record time, even with traffic.  I can’t believe it.  I pull in to the Car Rental return lane open up my empty trunk…wait…EMPTY?  Yes, empty.  I left my suitcase on the curb in Hollywood an hour and a half before. 

HOW COULD I DO THAT?  

I call my roommate immediately.  She rushes to the curb…suitcase gone.  Of course it is.  I left a suitcase on the street in Los Angeles…it isn’t conveniently sitting there waiting on me.  Some kind soul didn’t look through my designer clothes to see if they could find my contact information.  My suitcase was gone and I still needed to get on the way to Nashville.

I instantly began to cry. 

As I spoke with my roommate she reminded me to take a deep breath…I had everything I needed AND I am blessed to have a bazillion other clothes and shoes…the ones in that suitcase will never be missed. Her words were rational but did not console me. 

I spoke with another friend a few minutes later and as I was complaining about being in Nashville with none of the clothes/outfits I had so carefully and fashionably planned and packed he said, “You survived in Africa with no shower for almost two weeks…this is nothing.”  Boom.  A ton of bricks hit my heart.  I started to think about what in that suitcase actually mattered.  I said to him, “I know…it’s just annoying because my favorite earrings were in there, favorite heels and that bracelet I love.”  As the words rolled off my tongue and I got off the phone with him I realized…I’m in the same place I was in January.  Only worse, somehow.  How easily I forget what is actually important.  How glad and relieved I am that God still works through me despite my vanity.  How quickly I forget what actually completes my heart.  What a slap in the face to the people of this world I say I stand up for that...I so quickly forget. 

I enjoy nice things.  Nothing wrong with that…especially if you take care of the things you invest in…but there’s a line.  Excess can easily sneak up on us.  It sneaks up on me often. 

Here I was bemoaning my things…and yes…it sucks…definitely deserving of being upset…but…let’s put things in perspective here.  Not just in this moment, but in my life. 

The night before I was looking through pictures of the kids in Sierra Leone and missing their little faces so terribly.  I even said the phrase to my roommate, “it’s so crazy to think that while I sit here in Los Angeles…life in Sierra Leone is still going on.”  While I spend lavishly in NYC babies still die.  While I follow after my dreams and stress out over where I’m going to get my rent check…people across the world wonder how they will feed their families!  Get a grip, Regina. 

When I really get down to it…the only thing in that suitcase that actually mattered was a simple bracelet with inspirational phrases I got as a gift from someone I care a lot about.  I usually wear it everyday…not only because the phrases on it speak my heart, but because it reminds me that my friend thought of me…took the time to buy something for me…it had sentimental value that was…not worth money at all.   At the end of the day, it can be replaced.  But, that bracelet symbolized a relationship to me.  Relationships…the things that are actually invaluable.  The things you actually can’t replace. 

How quickly I forget that at the end of the day…it doesn’t matter if I loose my favorite heels…I’ll find another pair…it doesn’t matter if I loose every designer shirt in the world…I didn’t need them in the first place and it doesn’t matter if I lose the bracelet a friend of mine gave to me…because...I didn’t lose the friend. How quickly we forget what actually matters.  Relationships.  Not things.  Not clothes. Not fancy shmancy jewelry, not a lavish life or even becoming a professional actress and dancer…it doesn’t matter.  People…in Sierra Leone..across the world…in my life, your life…those I love, those you love…now that’s something to invest in.  

And So I Will Create...

Last night I spent a very long time talking to one of the most important women in my life, Jaclyn.  Over the past 7 years her strength, love, laughter, and consistency in my life has been more than an answer to prayer.  Our phone conversation began with her calling to tell me she was moving to New York City! The Big Apple.  The place every musical theatre performer dreams of going to light up the stage…but she seemed down.  Over the course of a few hours I listened more and more to her sort through her feelings about this huge transition.  She got off the phone with me only to call back a bit later and say, “I couldn’t be more excited.”  She spoke with a friend of ours in NYC who told her…it’s hard…there are no jobs half the time and more often than not you feel down on yourself as a performer…you struggle to make rent month to month and sometimes you wonder if you have enough money for three actual meals a day…

As I listened…all I could think was, “I’m sorry…you’re excited?  Sounds like every reason I DON'T want to do this." She said to me…”I’m ready!  I couldn’t be more excited to finally do this.  This is what I was made to do and I know I’m ready to worry about all of those things.”  Hah…performers are so weird. ;)   

I began to cry a little.  I was so moved by her drive to chase after her dreams.  To do what she was created to do.  Because I guess creating means...dealing with some pretty ugly situations at times...molding those situations into our art...

Over the past month I’ve been on a grand adventure.  I’ve been going to dance classes in New York City and last night had my first audition in Los Angeles.  It may sound like glitz and glamour (I wont lie…it feels like it most of the time) but…it’s not as easy as it sounds.  Each dance class a little more of my dignity has been chipped away as I realize all the things I need to catch up on.  I’ve been out of this full time for two years…and it shows.   And as I sit here feeling aches in my hips and knees from my ‘oh so incredible’ audition last night (insert sarcasm here) I wonder…can I do this?  Can I live with all the uncertainty that comes with chasing after my dreams?  In theory it sounded like a grand adventure…and it is…but adventure implies adversity...and adversity implies heart-ache.  But...adventure also implies overcoming obstacles, acquiring strength, healing and molding into a new creation.  Adventure implies hard work.  Not just physical labor…but spiritual labor...labor to ensure that I hold on to knowing who I am…it’s so easy as a performer to fall in to the trap of, “she turns better.”  “her legs kick higher” “she’s got tighter abs” “what if I never get a job and this was all for nothing…” blablablablabla….

But wait a second…isn’t this what we were created to do?  All of the negative things I’ve heard people fill their minds with over the past four weeks…I’ve been so quick to jump on them and say…but wait…you were CREATED to CREATE don’t you pour negativity into an already negative industry.  Be a change-maker.  Be someone who says…nope…God created me, created all that is around us…and as such…the creator of all gifted me to create as well.  And I will do so with light in my eyes and love in my heart. 

Sounds like I need to take my own advice, huh?  I’m all talk.  It’s the truth.  I talk a good game.  But I’m scared.  Scared of failure.  Scared of inadequacy.  Scared that what I create isn’t good enough. 

Lies.

We all tell them to ourselves.  They’re self-defeating.  They do nothing but injure our own spirits and keep us from creating the art our souls long to.  It’s debilitating really.  I’ve seen it affect someone’s spirit so much that they no longer create at all…and how incredibly sad is that?  That someone who has so much inside of them would no longer give of themselves to a world longing for nothing but…more to be created.

Not for me. 

I have many more bruises and aches ahead.  Many more days gazing off into the beautiful California sun writing at Starbucks trying to sort it all out.  But, as I told Jaclyn last night….as long as I can remember…I’ve wanted to create…create something that gives of myself to others.  I may not be the “best” but I have to be MY “best.”  It may sound trite…but I truly believe if you allow fear to keep you from doing what the base of your soul tells you that you were made to do…you’ll forever be an unfinished piece of art...a piece of art that if finished could have set the world on fire…could have spoken to just one person to say…create as you were created. 

So, like Jaclyn, I’m excited too.  Excited to be uncertain if I’ll get a job to help me make rent…in an imaginary apartment I have yet to find.  Excited to take a ton of dance classes….because I have a lot of work to do to rise to my fullest potential and not fall on my face in auditions.  Excited to be a glimmer of light in an industry that at times can be very dark…but an industry that represents…creativity…that represents what we were put on this earth to do…Create.

And so…I will create…And I hope you’ll create the art burning inside of you as well. 

Love and Light,

Regina

Breaking Cycles

When I was little my dad was an avid nail biter…he still is…chomps on those babies like there’s no tomorrow.  It’s one of the most annoying habits, but he’s always done it.  When I was little…I wanted to be just like my dad…so, naturally, I inherited this lovely trait.  From the age of five till around 22 I bit and bit and bit my nails.  My mother would put band-aids on my fingers to keep me from biting them…but I’d just take them off and keep on biting.  Disguting, huh? One day I finally said.  No more.  I’m not doing this.  It’s disgusting and I’m over it.  Seems small I guess…but I needed to break a cycle.  It’s still a struggle for me.  Whenever I get nervous…it’s my go to.  So, I’ve compromised with myself: I carry a nail file in my bag and I get a manicure every two weeks.  This keeps me from biting for the most part because, well, they’re pretty and I don’t want to mess them up J Eventually, I’ll get to a place where I don’t have to trick myself in to not nervously and unattractively biting my nails, but until that day comes…my bank account will be slightly smaller and I’ll have successfully broken one unhealthy cycle.   

The past few months I’ve been finding a few unhealthy cycles I need to break.  Gosh, it’s hard to admit it when they creep in to our lives because most people would like to appear put together, a good head on their shoulders…capable of handling life they’ve experienced and yet to.  Well, we all have our stuff unfortunately.  At no point in life will we ‘have it all together’, know what’s going to happen next, be healed of all past brokenness etc.  As we go through life and encounter new people and relationships…we will continue to have to adjust, heal as we uncover new depths of ourselves, be challenged to see where we need improve…to break cycles…

I went to see a movie with a girlfriend called ‘Crazy, Stupid Love.’  First and foremost…Steve Carell could make me laugh my pants off any day…I just think he is so dang funny.  But, this movie takes a journey through different romantic situations, which require the people within the relationships to ‘break cycles.’  The cycle of being married for years and becoming too comfortable, the cycle of meaninglessly dating girl after girl, the cycle of putting a wall up around your heart where no one can get in…no matter who you are you can relate to these scenarios on different levels.  I’ve been forced to examine some cycles in my life a little deeper than biting my nails. J I’m coming to find on a new level, as this romantic comedy clearly shouts, love is never easy…it’s never ‘happily ever after’…and creating your own happily ever after comes partially from…breaking cycles.  Being willing to grow and allowing the other person the chance to grow individually but also…being willing to look at the cycles within your relationship together (the good and bad) and compromise and adjust where needed.  No matter where you are in your personal world…to be able to fit the other person in and work together.  The relationships that succeed are the ones where as Steve Carell says, “you never stop fighting.”  The relationships where it’s worth it to break cycles that could potentially ruin two peoples chance at being in a healthy, imperfect relationship. 

I was talking to a friend recently who was also coming to find cycles in their life they needed to break…and if this friend didn’t break them…well their relationship might not work.  My friend wasn’t alone though, the second half of this relationship realized the same thing…they had some things to work on.  Now, the beginning of a relationship is filled with sunshine…complete loss of a sense of reality…you believe this person is perfect.  But as you go through life you begin to realize their humanness.  Not only the things that annoy you about them, but also the things that make them broken…that prove they’ve gone through experiences that have affected them in certain ways.  We don’t always know what those things are that will creep up and affect our relationship…we can “have it together” as much as possible, but inevitably romantic relationships bring these things out in us…and we’re forced to make a decision…break up with the person and decide it’s too hard…or…break the cycle. 

How do you ever know when it’s worth it to break the cycle, my friend asked...what if we go through this and it ends up not turning out in the ideal way?  Well unfortunately…that’s life.  Just as we’re never going to have everything together, we’re never going to know if it’s worth it till you jump in there.  I had a youth one time that said it best, “You gotta risk it to get the biscuit.”  In my personal opinion…a relationship is always worth it to risk it…to see it through…it’s always worth it as long as you feel your true self is not being compromised to work together and walk through life.  But, there’s the key…together…the two people have to be on the same page that it’s worth it.  At times you may be unsure…but at the end of the day if your heart continues to feel pulled to that person…perhaps you should get over your brokenness and break that cycle.

But breaking cycles is daunting, as my friend, pointed out.  But…when you want something…you fight for it…and you risk it…otherwise…you aint gonna get no biscuit. 

I hope I continue to break cycles in my life…cycles that keep me from continuing to grow as a person…whether they are as small as biting my nails or as big as talking so much I don’t hear what my loved ones are saying or as big as being scared to run after my dream.  My friend’s relationship is a true testament of two people who have decided to “risk it to get the biscuit.”  To attempt to come together as two people at different places in life who think they can meet in the middle…now that’s a beautiful cycle I hope they continue. 

Peace, 

Reg

In the Blink of an Eye

Last night my beautiful friend, Leah, hosted a going away party for me. Friends of mine gathered together and ate food, sat by the pool, and chatted in the shade. My favorite things: friends, food, laughter and sunshine:-). At the end of the night Leah surprised me by having everyone gather around the pool and light wish lanterns for me. She asked everyone to share a wish they had for this next stage of my life. I have truly wonderful friends. As I watched all of the lanterns fly in to the sky I thought to myself...I can't believe this chapter is ending! It ended in the blink of an eye. I turned around and I was done with CYMT. I turned around and I turned in my keys to BUMC and walked out the door. In the blink of an eye...it's time to hit the road!! :-)

So much positive growth has been happening in my world recently. It's beautiful really. The women who run The Raining Season have been over in Africa for the past two months fighting tirelessly with the Sierra Leonian government to lift the adoption ban so people can bring their children home. The possibility of this has been squelched time and time again. But, through perseverance, time and prayer, in the blink of an eye, the president approved and granted six month visas to 16 of our children to travel to the U.S. to sing as a choir and partake in a music program sponsored by Picking Violets' (a singing duo's) fan club, The
Tribe. In the blink of an eye...what they have been fighting so hard for seems to be one step closer. My heart has been overjoyed.

But there's one glitch in my world I can't quite shake. I had a falling out with a dear friend over the past two months...and I didn't even have time to...you guessed it...blink. The past three weeks I had so much going on that I pushed it to the side and said...well...this is what has to be...if my friend wants to work things out they'll come try and talk to me. And I've tried to see things from every possible angle but...every angle I look at all I can think is...gosh...my friend was there...and now they are not...and I don't think there's a thing I can do to change it. In the blink of an eye a relationship can change...and I guess if that's true, in the blink of an eye a relationship can be repaired. But how do you do that when you don't know what else to do? I guess...through time, perseverance and prayer perhaps things can turn around. I hope so. But, life keeps happening...

...and...life is so beautiful right now and though I want my dear friend to be a part of it...I don't know how to make that happen. So, I guess I just live in positive thoughts over the situation...and know that exciting things are about to happen and if along the way I find myself able to share life with my friend again...then life will be even more beautiful...in the blink of an eye. :-)

Peace and Love,
Regina