Last January before I left for my second trip to Sierra Leone I left my designer purse in my car. Yes, I did say Sierra Leone and designer purse in the same sentence. While I was inside saying goodbye to a friend someone smashed my passenger window and snatched my beautiful brown leather bag. Immediately I called the police. As the police officer asked me the worth of my purse I became sick to my stomach. Here I was traveling to help “Save the Orphan” and my bag cost over half of my plane ticket to Africa. It made me call into question where my heart truly was. Obviously, I was sad about loosing my belongings, and a little uneasy that someone had my information but more than anything I was upset because…I felt like a hypocrite. I preach taking care of and comforting the afflicted but here I was swimming in my own wealth. That may seem an exaggeration, because I’m certainly not rolling in the dough…but stay with me.
Fast forward to this summer…I spent part of my time in New York…shopping. Shocker. Everyone take a second to get over your dismay. I invested in some great pieces and was so excited to show off my new “fashionable clothes.” The other day I packed up a few of my things, including said wonderfully fashionable items, got ready to head back to Nashville to get the rest of my stuff and see my friends. I have had a million things on my mind the past few weeks…getting a job, finding an apartment…realizing I’m finally an adult and if I want to “make my dreams come true” I’m going to have to work my butt off to afford this dream of mine. My brain has been racing with worry, anxiety and stress. Money, money, money. Where am I going to get all the money to live and not be in a shack when I’m 60? I need to invest wisely. How will I afford dance classes? How will I even have time for dance classes while I’m working? How will I afford new furniture? I don’t want to get rid of the furniture I have. At least I have cool new clothes.
Wow. Do you hear me? Punch me in the throat.
So, a week ago I wake up to head back to Nashville…I’m running late to deliver some things to my boss and I still have to empty out my rental car. I wheel my suitcase to the curb, cross the busy street to turn my car around, load up my suitcase and get on my way. I’m racing with the clock to drive from Hollywood to Pasadena and then back to the airport. I do everything in record time, even with traffic. I can’t believe it. I pull in to the Car Rental return lane open up my empty trunk…wait…EMPTY? Yes, empty. I left my suitcase on the curb in Hollywood an hour and a half before.
HOW COULD I DO THAT?
I call my roommate immediately. She rushes to the curb…suitcase gone. Of course it is. I left a suitcase on the street in Los Angeles…it isn’t conveniently sitting there waiting on me. Some kind soul didn’t look through my designer clothes to see if they could find my contact information. My suitcase was gone and I still needed to get on the way to Nashville.
I instantly began to cry.
As I spoke with my roommate she reminded me to take a deep breath…I had everything I needed AND I am blessed to have a bazillion other clothes and shoes…the ones in that suitcase will never be missed. Her words were rational but did not console me.
I spoke with another friend a few minutes later and as I was complaining about being in Nashville with none of the clothes/outfits I had so carefully and fashionably planned and packed he said, “You survived in Africa with no shower for almost two weeks…this is nothing.” Boom. A ton of bricks hit my heart. I started to think about what in that suitcase actually mattered. I said to him, “I know…it’s just annoying because my favorite earrings were in there, favorite heels and that bracelet I love.” As the words rolled off my tongue and I got off the phone with him I realized…I’m in the same place I was in January. Only worse, somehow. How easily I forget what is actually important. How glad and relieved I am that God still works through me despite my vanity. How quickly I forget what actually completes my heart. What a slap in the face to the people of this world I say I stand up for that...I so quickly forget.
I enjoy nice things. Nothing wrong with that…especially if you take care of the things you invest in…but there’s a line. Excess can easily sneak up on us. It sneaks up on me often.
Here I was bemoaning my things…and yes…it sucks…definitely deserving of being upset…but…let’s put things in perspective here. Not just in this moment, but in my life.
The night before I was looking through pictures of the kids in Sierra Leone and missing their little faces so terribly. I even said the phrase to my roommate, “it’s so crazy to think that while I sit here in Los Angeles…life in Sierra Leone is still going on.” While I spend lavishly in NYC babies still die. While I follow after my dreams and stress out over where I’m going to get my rent check…people across the world wonder how they will feed their families! Get a grip, Regina.
When I really get down to it…the only thing in that suitcase that actually mattered was a simple bracelet with inspirational phrases I got as a gift from someone I care a lot about. I usually wear it everyday…not only because the phrases on it speak my heart, but because it reminds me that my friend thought of me…took the time to buy something for me…it had sentimental value that was…not worth money at all. At the end of the day, it can be replaced. But, that bracelet symbolized a relationship to me. Relationships…the things that are actually invaluable. The things you actually can’t replace.
How quickly I forget that at the end of the day…it doesn’t matter if I loose my favorite heels…I’ll find another pair…it doesn’t matter if I loose every designer shirt in the world…I didn’t need them in the first place and it doesn’t matter if I lose the bracelet a friend of mine gave to me…because...I didn’t lose the friend. How quickly we forget what actually matters. Relationships. Not things. Not clothes. Not fancy shmancy jewelry, not a lavish life or even becoming a professional actress and dancer…it doesn’t matter. People…in Sierra Leone..across the world…in my life, your life…those I love, those you love…now that’s something to invest in.
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