Teach me to Forgive

In recent months I have been learning a lot about being a better friend.  Not that I think I was an awful friend before necessarily, but I have come upon circumstances where I have been challenged to love better.  

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to learn.  Although, from a young age one of the first things we learn how to do is say, “I’m sorry.”  Somehow, as we get older these simple words become harder and harder to utter.  Not only is it hard to say, but it’s hard to accept. 

But, as Christians, we believe that forgiveness and grace are available to us always.  Grace, meaning the unmerited favor of God…we didn’t have to do anything to get this love and forgiveness.  Christians believe we are to strive to show this same grace and forgiveness in our own relationships. 

I’ve gotten the being willing to say, ‘I’m sorry’, thing down (obviously, I still mess up from time to time)…but the forgiveness…well, I kinda suck at this.  I’m certainly not near as good at it as I need to be.

I went to a music concert the other night and like a series of events that only God can orchestrate they sang a few songs through out the night that knocked me down a bit. 

Mostly based off of scripture, one song went, “Time is a thing we can’t recreate…can’t bottle it up for a later date…teach me to number my fleeting days.”  What are you spending your days doing, Regina?  Judging people and their choices, refusing to forgive a friend?  Who do I think I am sometimes?  Hmm…learning to number the beautiful days given to me.  I need to soften my heart. 

The next song really drove it home, “ True love has no defense, it cannot stay at an arms length or sit on the fence.  It knows it’s closest friends will betray and it stands by them faithfully anyway…Love is patient, it holds on tight, holds on tight when the train derails…love will never give up.”   “It’s not keeping track of who’s winning, who’s lost or who's scored…true love is kind.”  Woah...I need to forgive better. 

My eyes were covered in tears.  Even when we’re wronged by a friend…it is our job to find forgiveness…and because we love them, we have to strap on that seat belt and go for the bumpy ride…friendship is not a scoreboard.  I’m not sure why I understand that for my marriage but the friendship part doesn’t always check in.  

I want to be a better friend.  I want to forgive more.  Love more.  Judge Less.  Put down my scoreboard.  Get off the fence and stand faithfully rooted in an understanding of true grace.